Good FriDay 23

April 2, 2010

Katie and I are doing another intensive R&R escape, this time to Hastings for a weekend’s cat-sitting at Keith and Caroline’s house. Dr John once more prescribes plenty of breathing sea-air and being blown around the most atmospheric ramshackle old fishing ports in the South East.

So while our gnostic Christian brothers and sisters are suffering, dancing, praise-singing and sharing the sacrament up in the wilds of Yorkshire, we’ll carry the Easter Mysteries within us, down to the sea, to reconnect with our pagan roots.

It won’t be a total break – I may sneak my laptop into the overnight bag – so much to do. Check the programme, inserting all the recent biographies received from actors and crew; compile the lists of complimentary tickets requested sponsors and VIPs, and tally these together with tickets sold, to ensure we don’t end up with more bums than seats; prepare a simple schedule to submit to Southwark Council in order to facilitate the release of a small grant we’ve been hoping for for months and have just been awarded – Yea! – which SHOULD just about cover our funding shortfall.

Not forgetting our ongoing ‘Quest for God’. A-list actORs who’ve so far said no to Divinity include Sir Ian McKellen, Tim Spall, John Hurt (in America, playing Zeus!) and Emma Thompson.  The most gracious and witty refusal came not from a thespian but from a true celebrity (well, at least to students of the Thatcher government of which sorry crew he was at least the most entertaining member, famous for his bad taste cardigans, and to listeners of Radio 4’s ‘Just A Minute) Gyleds Brandreth. To my email (‘Gyles Brandreth for God?’) the prospective Almighty replies:

‘I have been rehearsing for this role for years!  It is a lovely idea, and I am honoured that you thought of me, but sadly my diary is a nightmare at the moment and I simply can’t fit it in. Perhaps I can be with you another year?  With all good wishes, Gyles’

That’s the next Apocalypse sorted then!

Already several (non-A list, though fine) actors have been in touch to offer their services, and there seems to be a ground-swell of opinion from the cast and crew that the play’s author should bite the bullet. If I were to agree, then it’d confirm the suspicions of some that that’s how I act.

Well, yes, of course, I AM God, as are you, dear reader. though perhaps not in the ‘self-possessed’ way we’d like to think.

I haven’t said “No!”  Even so, in these ‘days of miracle and wonder’, I’m going to hold out at least over Easter for a long distance call from Michael Caine – or even Paul Simon (though ‘Graceland’ was the only album of his I could bear to listen to). I never shared the belief that ‘Clapton Is God’ even back in the day – not least because I don’t happen to believe that God is a little Englander.  So, why not The Man himself, the greatest religious poet of my generation:

Is there a Bob?

Onwards, ever on… through pain and death to resurrection and rebirth!


  1. as the infernal eternal church of the subgenius informs us, god backwards is dog, but bob, is always bob…

  2. We are also by the coast for easter near Brighton.
    I still think an A-list celebrity is attainable and what the Southwark Mysteries deserves.
    I have been thinking maybe its worth trying a twitter campaign, this can be quite quick and has the possibility of netting an A-lister (worth a try).
    Happy to run with this if you want to give it a go, I have some contacts with quite a few followers.
    I could kick something off on Tuesday, then see if you get any others offers.

    • Worth a shot. Just so long as none of you get depressed if all the A-listers are otherwise engaged and your author is called upon to take on the Almighty role… 😉 Anna our publicist suggested Paul O’Grady, who I think could make a very fine Divine One. The part should go though, to an ActOR – old school, slightly fruity… Yes, Shaun by all means put the word about. At this stage a dire3ct contact would work best. Go tweet. Maybe we could even Net the great Tweeter of them all, St Stephen Fry 🙂

  3. Not sure how you feel about Shakin Stevens 😉 a good friend of ours counts him as an extended member of their family (He is is the partner of the mother of the partner of their son).

  4. Thought it was worth looking at actors that have association with Southwark http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Southwark#Arts_and_entertainment

  5. I’ve started the twitter campaign http://shaun.ph/myst

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